Literally, the world. I travel the world and, I have no clue. No clue what I want to do, who I want to be, I have no clue.
When I quit my job with Vector, I thought to myself, maybe this trip to Africa will help me realize what I want to do. Three months later, no still no clue.
Well, that is not entirely true. I know what I want to do. I want to be a photographer, I want to make money, I want to go back to the corporate world, I want to do something that will make a difference. I want to do it all. Surprise, surprise.
Ideally, I could make all those things work together and have the perfect job. I could be a photographer for some magazine or newspaper or an NGO. But of course, instead of fitting all these desires in to one job, I seem to be finding too many jobs that fit only some of the desires.
I have my job at a photo gallery. Fun as it is, it is also tiring. I stand on my feet seven hours out of the day and work with other people's photographs. I hang up and sell other people's photographs. I am working with art, but none of it is my own. Not only is that tiring, it is frustrating and draining.
Since I am making little more than minimum wage, I go in search of a second job. Where do I end up, but a local sales office of Vector Marketing.
I was really excited about this for a second. I know I could make good money doing it and it would be my own hours. So, I went in for an informal interview with the local District Manager. Forget that I have no motivation to actually sell knives right now, and do not know anyone in the area who I could sell knives to. But, I got some sort of sad thrill out of talking to the DM about the last conference and the fact that she is up against two DMs from the Eastern Region in one of the national competitions.
Homesick much? Breaking up really is hard to do... After much soul searching, and throwing out my back (again) this morning. I decided not to go through training again. It was a hard decision...
One job possibility down, millions to go.
1 comment:
:( I'm sorry to hear the career search is rough. What I know for sure is that all of the crappy jobs I've had in the past have helped me figure out what it is I HATED about that job and in turn, helped me narrow down what it is I want. And when you love what you do, you do it well and it all ends up falling into place in the end. At least, I think that's how it works....**fingers crossed**
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